Relationship Reflection

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that many people enter into a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”                               Anthony Robbins

Throughout my life I have experienced some relationships like the type mentioned in the quote above where it was one sided, where the person on the other side of the relationship was there for different reasons than how I intended. It takes experiences like those to make us truly understand the mechanics of how relationships work. I have had to learn and gain the necessary foundation skills needed to lead me to the path towards building healthy relationships. It is challenging to learn how to filter out the unhealthy relationships so we can make space for the healthy ones. The array of relationships that I have experienced have all been amazing learning experiences which has truly guided with helping me to unravel the understanding of what positive relationships are. I know that will still encounter these types of relationships, but now I am more empowered with tools to help me funnel through them.

     

                                                                                   

Relationships have been very important to me as they have made me feel valued and given me a sense of belonging. I have gained and developed so many skills due to the positive relationships that I have made. Over the years, the relationships in my life have helped to develop communication skills, understand how groups work, how to negotiate, solve conflict, give support, have fun and laugh. All of the skills that I have developed and still developing have had a deep impact with my current relationships. They have helped with making me a better daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and colleague. What else could I ask for! I still have not perfected each relationship as there are bumps along the way, but now I look at these bumps in a more positive way. There will still be conflict, but I have realized that conflicts are a natural part to relationships. It is how we handle the conflicts that arise. Conflicts can be win-win, but it is being open to letting go and coming to a point where we can agree to disagree and move on in  a positive way. 

I cherish the array of relationships that I have and I work hard at maintaining them. Humor is a huge element that I bring to all of my relationships, especially my family. There isn’t one day that we don’t share a belly laugh as these belly laughs help us to stay connected and build positive relationships. My relationships with my husband and children are ever so special and we work hard as we take to time to connect, talk and listen to one another. Relationships evolve and change, but we need to work with the changes. Since I began working on my Masters, my relationships with my friends have changed. My friends know that this is very important to me and there are times when I might forget to call as I am probably busy writing a paper. They understand and support me and we try to make time for one another so we can stay connected. They know not to take it personally as this change will not affect our relationship in a negative way, but just altered while I pursue my studies. 

What I have learned regarding my own personal relationships has definitely been very impactful as my role as an effective early childhood professional. In this field, we strive to build relationships with the families and I have been able to take those skills and apply it to the families who I have worked with.  We need to build trust, be open and listen to parents in order to foster positive relationships. Some parents may address concerns they have and we need to be open, listen and use our communication skills. My diverse experiences with varying relationships helps with knowing how speak with parents and giving them time to talk while I listen. This shows that we value them as a whole. Together we come up solutions or strategies as this helps to be positive while working through conflict and make it a win-win situation. Taking time to work together builds trust and value which in turn results in healthy relationships.

I have been so blessed and lucky to be surrounded by so many people who have made such a positive impact on my life. I cherish each relationship and work hard in maintaining them. Although the array of relationships I have may be different, they have the commonality of trust and respect and  I value each and every one of them!

When I Think of Child Development........

“Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."   Khaled Hosseini       

This is a great quote as it reminds us of the importance of individuality. Our purpose is to guide and support a child’s development, not mold them with our ideas of who a child should be. We shouldn’t be “painting” children with the same paint brush in the sense they all learn or think the same way. We are reminded that each child does not come with a template, rather with an open canvas in which to learn and develop to their fullest at their own time and pace.    

“Pausing to listen to an airplane in the sky, stooping to watch a ladybug on a plant, sitting on a rock to watch the waves crash over the quayside – children have their own agendas and timescales. As they find out more about their world and place in it, they work hard not let adults hurry them. We need to hear their voices.”    

      Cathy Nutbrown

I love this quote as it reminds us that children are about the “sense of wonder”. To adults a ladybug on a plant is just that; a bug on a plant. For a child this lady bug creates many new wonders. They watch it crawl, notice the colors and try and touch it to see how it feels. Hurrying children denies them the opportunities to explore their wonders of the world. That may be a bug to us, but to that child it is like a new found treasure. We need to give children the time to explore the things around them. Children are naturally curious and learn through their senses, so it is our role to show some elasticity with our rushed routines and transitions and allow them the opportunities to explore. If we took the time to take a child’s lead and sit with that child and explore the lady bug together, we would realize that we are learning alongside with that child.

This video clip links with the lady bug quote. Watch for the child’s sense of wonder and see who is patiently waiting, not rushing the child as he explores his wonders of the world!! Enjoy!!!

This quote caught my attention as we have discussed this throughout this course. We can’t expect children to learn the same way. Each child is individual with different learning styles and needs. It is up to us as professionals to adapt, modify or change our teaching styles to meet the needs of all children so they can learn in way that fits their learning styles so they can be successful.

“If you haven’t time to respond to a tug at your pant leg, your schedule is too crowded.”                 Robert Brault

Just thought that I would end with one more quote that is more reflective than anything!!!

Testing for Intelligence?

     Assessments are an important aspect when working with children. Building on our observational, developmental and curriculum knowledge, we are able to make summative and formative assessments of children’s growth, development, knowledge, skills and interests. These assessments help us to communicate this information to families as well as other professionals. Assessment skills help us to create effective curriculum for both groups and individual children but also to assess our early learning environments. Assessments are intended to identify, document, support and promote children’s learning and development (ELECT, 2007). My role with assessments has never been targeted in the area of IQ testing; rather I use assessments as a tool to gather information regarding children’s skills, interests, development and how they learn. Gardner’s theory has been instrumental with the education of children, as it shows teachers that children can demonstrate knowledge in their own ways (Berger, 2012). With the tools that we use for assessments, it will give us information on how children learn. Gardner’s theory shows us that we should present concepts to the children in more than one way as each child will have his or her own preferred way of learning.

     The information from continuous assessments about individual children helps to plan curriculum and tailor interactions that responds to their strengths and needs. This information ensures that the program meets its goals for children's learning, developmental progress and can inform what improvements are needed to improve the program. Assessments also help to identify children who may be experiencing developmental difficulties and may need additional developmental assessment and specific interventions (ELECT, 2007).

Assessments on Children in Africa

We know that all children will develop and grow meeting the different skills and milestones at certain stages of development. With this, we also know that children will develop and meet these skills and milestones at their own pace and time.

It is important to recognize that developmental milestones can be different depending on the cultural background of a child. In an article, “Refining the Milestones: Assessing Child Development in Africa” it explains that some items in Western tests are not culturally appropriate for rural African populations and therefore cannot assess if children from those communities are developing normally (Trust, 2010). For example, activities such as preparing breakfast cereal, using a knife and fork, pedaling a tricycle and playing board games would be uncommon for children in rural Africa. A pink doll used in a ‘feeding the doll’ test can be terrifying to many children who may have never seen anything like it before. And some of the questions feature pictures – problematic when many children have never seen a book or a pictorial representation of an object before, let alone some of the more foreign objects (Trust, 2010).

Now, researchers from the College of Medicine in Blantyre, Malawi, and colleagues have designed a more culturally relevant developmental assessment tool to be used with children in rural Africa. Unfortunately, even with the tool, there are obstacles to improving child development in low-and middle-income countries. Many are limited in the resources they have available for screening children and for helping those whose development is delayed or disrupted.

According to the article, it states that tools such as MDAT will probably be used for research studies rather than for routine developmental assessments. However, it is an important development- the study illustrates an effective method for creating and validating a new, culturally relevant, assessment tool, and may aid the development of similar tools for other cultures.

     References

Berger, K.S. (2012). The developing person through childhood (6th edition). New York, NY: 

           Worth Publishers

Early Learning for Every Child Today, 2007.  Retrieved from

http://www.cfcollaborative.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/ELECT.pdf

Website:

Refining the Milestones: Assessing Child Development in Africa

http://blog.wellcome.ac.uk/2010/08/11/refining-the-milestones-assessing-child-development-in-africa/

Hunger

Whenever I hear the word stressors, I would like to believe that only adults are impacted by the different stressors that inhibit our lives. Children should be free to be children…they should be nurtured, loved, fed and not have to take on the worries of the world. How luxurious that would be, however, we are not so fortunate, as children are just as impacted by the stressors that come in and out of their lives.

One stressor that has touched someone close to me is hunger. Hunger was a stressor that played a significant role throughout my husband’s early childhood. His parents moved to Canada from Germany when he was just a baby and they did not speak English. His parents struggled financially and there were many countless days where he went hungry. He remembers not being able to focus in school as all he could hear was his tummy rumbling. At that time there were no “breakfast clubs” as this was seen as an issue for developing countries, not in our community. His preoccupation with his talking tummy labeled him as a child who couldn’t pay attention and couldn’t focus. The teachers never identified the true reason for his lack of concentration.  His experience as a hungry child has impacted him now as a father of two children. He goes above and beyond to make sure that all of their wants and needs are met.  This experience also gave him the internal motivation to continue with his education and obtain a good job, so he wouldn’t have to experience a rumbling tummy ever again! I never question our grocery bills as his relationship with food and the lack of is something that I could never relate to.

We tend to think of hunger as something typically associated with underdeveloped countries, but in fact hunger is a stressor in our own communities.  Poverty is a main contributor to hunger (World Hunger Education.) Without the financial means to fulfill all expenses needed to live, may leave at times empty plates on the table.  I have worked in many programs where the majority of the clientele were low income families.  We made sure that we provided healthy and nutritious meals rich with protein, fruit and vegetables as we knew that might be the only meals they would consume for the day. We even sent home left over food at the end of the day to families who were open to take it. In our communities we have the food bank, breakfast clubs, and other organizations to aid families who are dealing with hunger, but what about the developing countries? How do they deal with hunger? 

An estimated 146 million children in developing countries are underweight - the result of acute or chronic hunger (Source: The State of the World's Children, UNICEF, 2009).

Africa

"More than 30 million children and adults across the swath of Africa face a devastating hunger crisis." Hunger in countries such as Africa due to poverty, poor rainfall, crop failures and skyrocketing food prices make it challenging for families to provide nutritious food for their children. Everyday children go without eating the right nutritious foods puts them behind in their growth and development. This hunger due to lack of food causes death, illness as their immune systems are down which make them vulnerable to diseases like diarrhea, malaria, and pneumonia (Save the Children Federation, Inc.). We think that poverty causes hunger, but in turn hunger causes poverty as poor health, low energy levels, and hunger can lead to greater poverty as it increases the inability for people to work and learn.

Hunger around the world either in developing or developed countries will persist to be a stressor that we will maintain to battle as a universal issue unless we can put an end to hunger. Whether we are directly or indirectly impacted by it, we can choose to make a difference whether big measures or small!

Child Development and Public Health

"An estimated 130 million infants are born around the world each year. Protecting these newborns from vaccine-preventable diseases requires an organized, accessible, and well-functioning immunization program as a key component of a country's public health program" (Center for Disease Control and Prevention).

     Immunizations are something that I never thought twice about! I had the luxury of having immunizations accessible and free for both of my children. We went for our baby check-ups and it was routine to give them their vaccines. Not all countries are as fortunate to have health care at their fingertips. Vaccination has been so successful that we now rarely see potentially deadly infections such as diphtheria, polio or preventable types of meningitis. J.P. Baker (Berger, 2012) states that immunization is said to have had "a greater impact on human mortality reduction and population growth than any other public health intervention besides clean water." However, children in developing countries who don't get vaccinated are still at risk of deadly infections. "Successful vaccination programs save thousands of lives, which is why organizations such as UNICEF and the World Health Organization are committed to making vaccines against measles, polio, and other serious diseases, available to as many children as possible around the world" (CDC).  Each child that has been vaccinated helps to stop the spread of disease and immunizations also protects children from complications such as; blindness, deafness, sterility, and meningitis (Berger, 2012).

     What about diseases that can't be prevented through immunizations? What about children and their families who are exposed to malaria? There is no vaccine for malaria, but there are preventable measures, but developing countries don't have the means to implement these preventable resources. According to the article, "Information on Malaria" it states that malaria is caused by a parasite that is transmitted by the bite of an Anopheles mosquito that occurs between dusk and dawn because the Anopheles mosquitoes feed at night. There are an estimated 216 million cases of malaria each year globally, which is alarming when you consider how preventable it is. I am not sure if any of you have heard of the campaign, "Spread the Net' but this campaign helps to raise money for countries that are exposed to malaria so they can purchase bug nets for when families sleep. That is why there is such a need for bed nets. One $10 bed net can protect a family of five from malaria for five years.

     Last year the Colleges and Universities across Canada were challenged with a "Spread the Net" contest to see which learning institution could raise the most amount of money in four months. The students and teachers came together at the college that I work at and over the period of four months, we as a school community raised just over $40,000 and we were the college that raised the most amount of money across Canada!! That money raised could protect as many as 19,000 lives from malaria. These bug nets protect families while they sleep which can lower the risks of being bit through the night by the mosquitoes that carry the disease.

     "Spread the Net" is a campaign that our college community continuously supports and one that I value as well. If we can keep children safe from disease by providing them and their families with one bug net and give them the quality of life they deserve then it is so worth trying to make a difference. We try and ensure that the children in our own communities have the chance to thrive and have opportunities to develop to their fullest, but it is important to think beyond our own community. Every child deserves the best and if we can make a difference then it is worth it.


Berger, K.S. (2012). The developing person through childhood (6th edition). New York, NY: Worth Publishers

Global Vaccines and Immunizations. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from:

http://www.cdc.gov/globalhealth/immunization/

Information on Malaria. International Travel Health and Vaccination Clinic Inc. Retrieved from: http://www.doctortravel.ca/index.php?page=malaria

Childbirth in my Life and in Holland

Who would have ever thought that this......   

                       

Could result in this!!!

  

 What a journey life is, to start out as a cell then into an embryo to a fetus to a birth of a baby and then through the different stages of development!

I have been blessed with two beautiful children who are now 10 and 12 years of age. They have enriched my life with love, laughter and pure enjoyment. I had two distinct pregnancies and birth experiences with each.

I got pregnant later in life as it was never the right time…either I was in school or my husband was in school. I got pregnant with my son when I was 31 so I was considered older. I had a great pregnancy; I ate healthy, stayed fit, read every book and took my vitamins, just as I was supposed to.  We had our “birthing plan”, chose our doctor and hospital and went to prenatal classes. Home birth was never even considered for some reason. Hospital births were just what everyone did. Home birth seemed scary to me…what if there was a problem? We took time to enjoy each month as my belly grew and the baby began to move. I read to him and sang to him and so did my husband. Ben arrived two weeks early, it was fine that he was a bit early, but it was not fine as my water broke in the middle of night….the early morning of my best friend’s wedding….did I mention that I was the “maid of honor”…YIKES!!! That was the first time that I experienced any stress throughout my entire pregnancy. I had more tears about missing her wedding than I did about going into labor!

The doctors and nurses made my experience as pleasant as they could…that was after they all auditioned to see who would take over the role as the new “maid of honor”. There was no doubt in my mind…I was having an epidural. If I didn’t have to feel the pain then I was signing up! Yeah for epidurals! My son was born a healthy 6 lbs. 6 oz. My son who is now 12 does have a learning disability with a diagnosis of a mild intellectual delay. School is very hard for Ben as he works academically at a grade 1 level. He has lots other strengths that we tend to focus on; he is funny, loving and caring and a wicked snowboarder!

So who knows why this happened? 

I know that we were only to talk about one experience, but I just want to share quickly how my second was quite different. My second pregnancy was exactly two years later. I was very excited to have another baby and a sibling for my son. This pregnancy was anything but relaxing. Everything was fine until we reached our fifth month. At an ultrasound appointment, they spotted that instead of having a three vessel cord there were only two. We found out this could result into two things; either renal problems (kidney problems) or trisomy-21 known as Down syndrome. That was the worst day ever!!! I was so nervous during that appointment. The doctor asked me lots of questions, measured every part of the baby. The doctor said it was too late to do an amniocentesis so we would just have to wait and see. The technician tried to reassure me that everything looked great but we didn’t know for sure. I went home and cried! I tried to stay positive and not stress, but that was impossible. Next, we found out that she was breech. They tried to turn her, but she wouldn’t turn….now I know where her stubbornness comes from. We had to schedule a C–section due to the fact that she was breech, so that made me nervous as well. Well, my daughter didn’t wait until her scheduled C-section as she decided to break my water 3 days prior. My experience was a lot different as this birthing process became surgery, so it seemed much more formal. I was more nervous because I was unsure of her health. When she arrived, my husband whispered in my ear that she was fine! J A pregnancy that was so stressful resulted with a perfectly healthy baby born at 7lbs. 2oz. No renal problems and no Down syndrome?? Now at 10 years old she thrives in school, is in competitive gymnastics and snowboards.

I decided to compare birthing experiences from what I know about the United States to Holland’s birthing practices as this is a place that I have always wanted to visit. 

Rather than seeing an obstetrician, expecting mothers are referred to a local midwife practice and doctors will only intervene if complications arise or if there are high risk cases (Schalken, 2104).  All pregnant mothers are expected to pick up a kit called a kraampakket which has all of the supplies that they will need if they have a home birth (Schalken, 2104).  If you do not decide on a home birth, the midwife will come to the house and check on the mother’s progress and let the parents know when they should go to the hospital (Schalken, 2104).   If you decide on a hospital birth, it’s unlikely that you’ll get an epidural as epidurals are usually given only if it’s convenient for the anesthesiologist’s schedule. Giving birth naturally remains ideal for the vast majority of Dutch women. If a mother gives birth early in the day without complications, she and the baby may go home in as little as two hours (Schalken, 2104). One of their customs is for the nurse to make a traditional snack to celebrate the birth and manage the visitors who come to see mom and baby (Schalken, 2104).

References

Schalken, L. (20140. Birth customs around the world. American Baby. Retrieved from:

       http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/vaginal/birth-customs-around-the-world/?page=2

Ideals That are Meaningful to Me

Listed below are three ideals that are contained in NAEYC and DEC Code of Ethics that are meaningful to me.

I-2.2- To develop relationships of mutual trust and create partnerships with the families we serve. I chose this ideal as I feel that family involvement is the key to a child's success in our programs, but before you can build a partnership or have families participate in your programs, you must have mutual trust. Parents must feel that genuine trust before they will open up about their child and their family. We want to build a positive bridge between home and school as the link between educators and parents is the foundation for success. Families are the first and most powerful influence on children's early learning and development, therefore we want to make sure that we are in fact creating partnerships with them. (NAEYC 1-2.4 Code of Ethics)

I-1.3- To recognize and respect the unique qualities, abilities, and potential of each child. I shouldn't assume, but I feel that if you are going to work with children and help educate them to your best ability then it should be a common practice to keep knowledgeable regarding child development, staying informed and continuing with education and training. Why I chose this ideal is that I have seen too many time educators who "paint" children with same paint brush as they don't take into account or respect the unique qualities, abilities and potential of each child. Some tend to group children together as they don't know how to support a child's unique way of thinking or learning. Some educators have a difficult time adapting their teaching styles to a variety of abilities or strengths of a child. It is key to a child's success not only to be respectful but aware of each child's individuality. (NAEYC 1-1.3 Code of Ethics)

RESPONSIVE FAMILY CENTERED PRACTICES

1. We shall demonstrate our respect and appreciation for all families' beliefs, values, customs, languages, and culture relative to their nurturance and support of their children toward achieving meaningful and relevant priorities and outcomes families' desire for themselves and their children. I chose this ideal form the Division of Early Childhood's Code of Ethics as once again I feel so strongly about family involvement, but it is disheartening how each week I have been finding resources that say how educators need more training with how to involve families who are culturally or linguistically diverse. How are we going to demonstrate respect for all families' beliefs, values, customs etc. if we don't know how to effectively embrace this diversity. This is why this ideal is so meaningful to me as we continuously open our programs to diverse families, but in reality don't know how to successfully incorporate everyone's rich differences. This ideal is stating that with diversity comes different beliefs, culture or language which may in fact alter their understanding of our programs therefore, this reinforces that we have to try harder to truly respect ALL families.

It was a pleasure sharing three ideals that I find meaningful which keep me inspired, focused and passionate.