How many times have you heard a child say,
“That’s so gay!” Do they know what they are saying, the meaning behind it, or
how harmful it can be for the person receiving the message? Maybe some children
do, but there are many children who are saying what has been modeled to them.
It is important to sit with children whether individually or as a group when we
hear them using inappropriate language such as, “You are so gay” or “Fag” or
“What are you a sissy?” and talk about how these words, statements, and
comments are harmful to the person receiving these remarks. It is also
important to create an open forum for children to discuss the meaning of the
word, “gay” as many children say the word, but don’t really have the
understanding of it context.
I remember quite a few years ago when I was
doing my practice teaching in a school age program there were a couple of children
who were giving me a hard time. I remember it was time to go inside and little
girl who was in grade one took my hand as we walked. One child who had been challenging me bumped my arm and said, “Gay!” I was shocked by his comment, not because of the word, but the shock was more related to the negative way he was using it. My on-site supervisor of my placement heard the comment and when
we were all inside, he held what he called a community meeting where we discussed
the situation and the word gay. This educator handled this situation beautifully. He didn't sweep this child's comment under the carpet and let it go, rather he used it as a learning opportunity for all the children!
Where does this homophobia and heterosexism come
from? Both homophobia and heterosexism can be learned as children can take on
the values of their parents. I remember hearing a child at the park tell
another child that he could not play with him because his dads were gay and
that if he played with him that he would catch the “gay” disease and become
gay. I heard the child tell hem that it was not true, but the child responded, “My dad
said that being gay is wrong and that I can’t play with you.” Children learn early on that to for a family to be created there needs to be a mom and a dad. When they think about love, they think that there has to be a girl and a boy. Looking beyond
the values and beliefs that are passed on to our children, take a moment to
think about the array of Disney movies and books. Think about the “Happily
Ever After” which usually includes a princess marrying a prince.
This message gives children the notion that in order to get their happily ever
after, that they have to marry their prince!
Our programs are flowered with diversity and part of
the diversity that we see is an array of family structure. Diverse families need to be represented throughout
our early learning programs through books, puzzles, pictures, and posters. The
video, "Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation” explained that we also need
to talk to children about the ways families are similar to and different from
one another (Laureate Education, Inc., n.d.). This video made me realize that it is still important
to acknowledge families with gay and lesbian parents even though our environments may not include gay or lesbian families. Providing children
with this information anyway will better prepare them to be respectful when
they do meet a family with gay or lesbian parents (Laureate Education, Inc.,
n.d.). Many people may argue the fact
that including materials such as books and pictures depicting same-sex
families is wrong; however, if we want to provide environments where all children and
families feel included and have a sense of belonging, then their families
should be represented in our programs. Educators who have different beliefs need to try and help children develop a positive self identity, regardless of their own beliefs
Reference
Laureate Education, Inc., n.d. Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
Reference
Laureate Education, Inc., n.d. Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
