"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!!"

Why do we “Shh” children when they ask us questions or make a statement when they see a person who looks different than they do? Children use their observations to learn about others.

They ask us questions or make statements because they are curious not rude. Think of the message that we give children the we stop them from asking questions or shh their curiosity!

I have experienced many times where I have witnessed an adult silence a child after they pointed out someone who looked different.  One example in particular occurred when a child I worked with noticed one of the educator’s body type/size. The educators and children were having lunch in the lunchroom and a child who was sitting at my lunch table looked over at the other table that was beside ours and she looked at the educator as said, "Sandy, your bum is too big for that chair. You are fat like Santa. Why is your bum so big?" Well, what do you think went through the minds of all the educators that were in the lunchroom? This comment made us very uncomfortable, uneasy, awkward, and feel other range of emotions about what this child had just expressed. The child did not say this to mean; she said this because she made an observation about how this educator was different. I did not shh this child, but my reaction was not any better as I sat there in silence for a few moments. Two other educators told her that what she said wasn't very nice and that she hurt Sandy'a feelings. 

What did our messages communicate to this child? My silence and the other educators' comments gave this child the message that what she said was wrong, when in fact she did not have a malicious intent. According to Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards (2012) we did not use this opportunity to help this child have a better understanding of differences. Children pick up on cues and can formulate conclusions about issues that adults do not talk about such as; body type/size and can feel emotional tensions from adults (Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards 2012). Our reaction may have given this child the message that we shouldn't make comments or ask questions when we see the differences that surround us. 

  

What I found interesting about this situation was that Sandy was the person who not only responded appropriately, but she handled the situation beautifully. She responded instantly and explained to this child about how everyone is unique, special, and different. Sandy said to her that everyone is made differently and she talked about different heights, color of eyes, skin, hair, shapes of noses, etc. She asked this child, "How weird would it be if we all looked the same?" It was great that Sandy did not pretend not hear what this child said. This was a learning opportunity for the rest of us as we understood the importance of talking about our differences and how lucky we are to be surrounded by diversity. She also taught us to answer children immediately and honestly so they don't feel tension or uneasiness when they ask questions regarding diversity. How Sandy handled this situation is a great example of how an anti-bias educator might have responded to support this child's understanding. 

Reference Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (201). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

How many times have you heard a child say, “That’s so gay!” Do they know what they are saying, the meaning behind it, or how harmful it can be for the person receiving the message? Maybe some children do, but there are many children who are saying what has been modeled to them. It is important to sit with children whether individually or as a group when we hear them using inappropriate language such as, “You are so gay” or “Fag” or “What are you a sissy?” and talk about how these words, statements, and comments are harmful to the person receiving these remarks. It is also important to create an open forum for children to discuss the meaning of the word, “gay” as many children say the word, but don’t really have the understanding of it context.

I remember quite a few years ago when I was doing my practice teaching in a school age program there were a couple of children who were giving me a hard time. I remember it was time to go inside and little girl who was in grade one took my hand as we walked. One child who had been challenging me bumped my arm and said, “Gay!” I was shocked by his comment, not because of the word, but the shock was more related to the negative way he was using it. My on-site supervisor of my placement heard the comment and when we were all inside, he held what he called a community meeting where we discussed the situation and the word gay. This educator handled this situation beautifully. He didn't sweep this child's comment under the carpet and let it go, rather he used it as a learning opportunity for all the children!

Where does this homophobia and heterosexism come from? Both homophobia and heterosexism can be learned as children can take on the values of their parents. I remember hearing a child at the park tell another child that he could not play with him because his dads were gay and that if he played with him that he would catch the “gay” disease and become gay. I heard the child tell hem that it was not true, but the child responded, “My dad said that being gay is wrong and that I can’t play with you.” Children learn early on that to for a family to be created there needs to be a mom and a dad. When they think about love, they think that there has to be a girl and a boy. Looking beyond the values and beliefs that are passed on to our children, take a moment to think about the array of Disney movies and books. Think about the “Happily Ever After” which usually includes a princess marrying a prince. This message gives children the notion that in order to get their happily ever after, that they have to marry their prince!

Our programs are flowered with diversity and part of the diversity that we see is an array of family structure.  Diverse families need to be represented throughout our early learning programs through books, puzzles, pictures, and posters. The video, "Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation” explained that we also need to talk to children about the ways families are similar to and different from one another (Laureate Education, Inc., n.d.).  This video made me realize that it is still important to acknowledge families with gay and lesbian parents even though our environments may not include gay or lesbian families. Providing children with this information anyway will better prepare them to be respectful when they do meet a family with gay or lesbian parents (Laureate Education, Inc., n.d.).  Many people may argue the fact that including materials such as books and pictures depicting same-sex families is wrong; however, if we want to provide environments where all children and families feel included and have a sense of belonging, then their families should be represented in our programs. Educators who have different beliefs need to try and help children develop a positive self identity, regardless of their own beliefs (Laureate Education, Inc., n.d.).  Children need to feel that they are not alone and providing materials in our environments that better represents all families will make them feel included not excluded where they feel different and where they don't belong.

Reference
Laureate Education, Inc., n.d. Start Seeing Diversity: Sexual Orientation. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

(EDUC-6164 Diversity) Professional Hopes and Goals

When I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds, my hope is that ALL children feel confident about who they are and what makes them so special and unique. I hope that they don’t have to experience the resistance that diversity can bring, so that every child and family can experience the same privileges and never have to experience or witness discrimination or prejudice. My hope is for all children to be able to embrace their diversity and cherish you they are!

One goal that I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is for educators to continue on the path towards being better prepared to work with diversity. I want educators to feel comfortable working in diverse programs so ALL children feel included and where each child’s individual needs are being met. My goal is for educators to think about how they would answer this question from Louise Derman-Sparks,

“Do I recognize, understand, acknowledge, and respect each child’s individual cultural and learning styles?”

My goal is to get educators to think about this question and think about how they will then turn it into an action statement!!

I would like to take a moment to thank everyone for sharing your thoughts, knowledge, and experiences with diversity and culture. The discussion boards and Blogs gave me the opportunity to learn through the experiences you shared each week. It is wonderful to know that there are amazing people like all of you who share this passion for equity and social justice for children and families. The children and families that you work with are very lucky that you care the way you do! J   Dr. Parrish, thank you once again for your constant support, encouragement, and feedback. The questions you pose and the "food for thought" comments that you posed challenged me to think deeper and reflect even more! When I first began my journey, my specialization courses were going to be “teaching adults” but for some reason I changed my mind. After taking this course, I am so happy that I chose diversity instead. As I head towards my specialized courses in January, I know I made the right decision! I wish all of you continued success with your studies!!

Take care,
Stephanie

(EDUC 6165 Communication) THANK YOU!!!!

The last couple of weeks we have been discussing team building and the collaboration process and that is exactly what we have been doing for the past eight weeks!! We came together voluntarily as a group with a shared goal and vision which is to complete another course towards our Master’s degree. Our professor Dr. Darragh who took the leadership role not only supported but valued our ideas, thoughts, and questions. As the leader in our group, Dr. Darragh not only kept us focused but also kept us on track towards our learning. She used her knowledge to not only support and guide us, but to pose questions so we could expand our thinking.  I thank her for that!! Everyone involved in this class became a valued member of the group where we shared our thoughts in the discussion boards and our Blogs. Everyone’s encouragement and positive feedback each week made me feel like a valued member of this team and I thank you for your support! 

As we move off into our specialization courses, I look forward to when we can enter the adjourning stage where we might meet at our graduation so we can take the opportunity to congratulate everyone on their successes. Until then, I wish all of you continued success with your courses to come. My specialization courses are taking me down the path to diversity, so I hope that many of you are on the same path!!

I wish you ALL the best and what it is to come!!

Take care,

Stephanie J

(EDUC 6164 - Diversity) Welcoming Families Around the World

This week we were told that a new child will be joining or group in a few weeks and that this family is from Botswana. As soon as our team received word that this child and family will be a new member of our early learning program, we began to discuss how we could prepare ourselves so we could be truly culturally responsive towards this family. We realized that this meant going above and beyond just having the surface facts about their country of origin, so we knew that we would have to think deeper about how we could really be culturally responsive so they would feel welcome.  We wondered about the language they spoke so we found out that although the national language of Botswana is Setswana, English is the second most language used and this family did in fact speak some English. We were also informed that this would be their first time leaving their country, so we wanted to try our best to make them feel that this was a safe place to be when they arrived. The mother sent us this picture, so this gave us an idea......................

.................We still had lots of time to prepare ourselves and lucky enough we had their contact information and e-mail, so we began our process by taking pictures of the educators, children, and the environment and sent them to the family so they could get a feel for our early learning program. The children really got involved and began writing this child letters of how they are awaiting her arrival. Now that we began the process, we thought that we better come up with some concrete ways that we could prepare ourselves to be culturally responsive towards this family.

My colleague and I talked about how lucky we are that I am enrolled in a diversity course and that we can apply what I have learned to our situation. We realized that we will need to learn about the country of Botswana and some of the culture, customs, and traditions that you would find there. Although it is important to learn about their country, we knew that we could not rely solely  on that information as this family will have their own distinct family customs and traditions; however, we knew that we would only be able to learn this when we actually get to meet the family and have time to connect with them. Their arrival will enable us to get to them know them on a more personal level.

Once we knew that the family spoke a little English, we thought that it would be nice for us to learn some common words in their native language such as; hello, good-bye, eat, bathroom, etc. We also wanted to ensure that we were familiar with how to communicate with this family with regards to greetings so we are being respectful. We don’t want to assume that we can shake hands, so this was something that we thought was important to find out. We also thought it would be important to look for images and materials that we could include in our program that would represent their culture as this would make the environment more inclusive for this child and her family. We thought that it might be helpful to find out what types of food is most common in Botswana and see if we could incorporate some of the food into our program that would be familiar to her and this would give the rest of the children an opportunity to be exposed to food from a different country. We also thought that in order to be culturally responsive, we would need to think about our curriculum. We will need to be prepared and ready to implement a diverse curriculum which will encourage her to become an active learner in the environment that that she will be part of. This will also help to make her feel included and respected for who she is and what she brings to our program.

Our goal as a team is to hope that the preparations we made together will create an environment where this family feels that they belong. I know that it will take some time as this will be a new experience and environment for this family. Being respectful, greeting them with a “hello” spoken in Setswana, providing materials in the environment that represent their culture, I hope it will make them feel welcome. These preparations will let us know that we did our best to make an environment where everyone feels included and that we tried to make a peaceful transition from their country to a new one. Once the family has time to settle in, we will continue to get to know this family so they remain on the path towards a sense of belonging.

(6164-Diversity) The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I have many different memories of when I have personally experienced incidents of prejudice as well as witnessing incidents of prejudice.  One memory in particular which made an impact on me was when I witnessed an incident of prejudice that was based on cultural and family practices. I was at the park with my children and a group of school aged children began playing tag. As I was watching my children play in the sand, I heard the group of boys say that they were all going to chase and tag the girls and the boys agreed on the plan and laughed. They began running around chasing the girls, then one of boys started to chase one of boys who was wearing a topknot. The boy wearing the topknot yelled, “Why are you chasing me? We said that we were going to tag the girls!” The other child replied, “You are a girl. Look you are wearing a pretty scarf on your head like a girl!” The boy replied, “It is not a scarf. It is called a topknot and that is what boys in my family wear.” The two boys began yelling at one another. It got quite intense and the boy with the topknot left the park crying. The group of children looked at each other after the child left the park. One child said, “That wasn’t nice. He is crying.” The boy replied, “I don’t care. He still looked like a girl!"

This incident of prejudice diminished equity as this child was discriminated against due to the difference in the way he dressed. This child was teased and excluded for having a different appearance. My belief is that this incident stemmed from the fact that the other child lacked the awareness and knowledge of the cultural differences between himself and the other boy. I couldn’t imagine the emotions that this boy was feeling. For me, this incident brought on feelings of anger and frustration as I witnessed this incident. I was angered at the fact that a child was teased and discriminated against due to the fact that he was different than the societal norm and at the same time I felt frustrated that this act of prejudice was coming from a child. I kept thinking where did this child learn this? Did he learn these biases and values from his family? Did his parents instill within him that it is fine to discriminate against another human being? My feelings then quickly shifted to the child who was the target of this act of prejudice. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling. He was so strong and tried to stand up for himself, but he could not.

When I think about this incident, I think that education and knowledge would be needed to help turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity. We have to educate children that just because someone looks, acts, dresses, or speaks differently doesn’t mean that we should make assumptions about them. Explaining diversity will hopefully help children to understand each other better. I did not know the parents of the child who was discriminating against the other child, but I did know a few of the parents of the other children. I did open up a dialogue about this incident with them when I saw them at the park. They actually spoke to their children about what happened. It needs to start somewhere, even if it is baby steps like talking to our children and giving them the strategies with what they can do if they witness another incident of discrimination or prejudice. My children were younger at that time, but it brought forth a great discussion about what happened and how the boy was mistreated. I think the key is to keep the dialogue going about discrimination and prejudice rather than ignoring it and sweeping it under the rug.

(EDUC 6165-Communication) Team Building

Each time I have experienced working in a group we shared a goal and vision that we were trying to achieve. We would come together so we could share ideas and connect with one another on a regular basis. The article, “The Five Stages of Team Development: A Case Study” explained that every group who works together must go through five stages of team development in order for the team to develop to the point where they are working effectively together in order to produce high quality results (Abudi, 2010).  The five stages are; forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning (Abudi, 2010).  There have been times when I have worked with a team towards a shared goal where we worked long hours and months to accomplish our vision. What happens when all that hard work and team effort has come to an end? This is what Abudi referred to as the “adjourning” stage. How do you say good-bye to the people who you worked so closely and passionately with?

When I reflect on the times when I was working with a group and the project was wrapping up, it was hard knowing that this group who I had connected with on so many different levels would not be meeting in the same manner any longer. This is known as the “adjourning” stage where the project is coming to an end and the members of that team will be moving off into different directions (Abudi, 2010).  My experiences with this “adjourning” stage has been hard, as it has been difficult to say good-bye to a team who shared a common passion where ideas were communicated, discussions were held, and connections were made. Working in these groups created bonds and it was always difficult to say good-bye to a group who worked so closely together. My experience with closing rituals when a project came to an end would be going out together as a group to celebrate with a nice dinner and drinks. This was our reward for working together as a team and a way to give one another a “toast” for working so hard and achieving what we worked hard to accomplish.

When I think about my journey at Walden and the connections I have made with different people, I think that we go through the “adjourning” stage each time we complete a course. We thank one another for their support and we send one another off with hopes of continued success with the next course to come. Once we have completed all of our courses, I imagine that the way we will adjourn from the group will be at our graduation. This will enable us to formally say thank you to our colleagues and professors for all the support and wish one another continued success with whatever comes our way.

I look forward to reaching the “adjourning” stage at the end!!!! J  We can do it!!! 

Reference

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html